so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
