We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
