I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
