so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
