Buhtt sex?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
