you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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