what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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