4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
