Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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