I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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