My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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