there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
