it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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