Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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