i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
