I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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