my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
