i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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