if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
