Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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