So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
This baby is an asshole
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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