He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is the high leading the old right now
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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