that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
