he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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