Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I lost the right to judge tonight
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
