did i walk over a car last night?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
