I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize