His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
