Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
