ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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