I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
