And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize