Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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