the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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