9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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