Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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