May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
