There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
