My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
