and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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