Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
