I will die if light touches me.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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