This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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