Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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