At least make sure they are 18
Why
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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