my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
