I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
