Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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