It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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