I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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