You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
