Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
