Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
