All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
