Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
