He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
