I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
