I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
