i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
