A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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