her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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