She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I smell stomach acid.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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