guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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