Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
