if i died would you start the facebook group?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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