Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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