i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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