i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
