if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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