there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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