I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize