I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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