last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
