Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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